The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
It makes me to lie down on the sofa.
It leads me away from the Scriptures.
It destroys my soul.
It leads me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsor's sake.
Yea, though I walk in the shadow of my Christian responsibilities There will be no interruption; For the TV is with me.
Its cable and its remote control they comfort me.
It prepares a commercial before me
In the presence of my worldliness.
It anoints my head with humanism.
My coveting runneth over.
Surely laziness and ignorance shall
Follow me all the days of my life;
And I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.